Testimonials: I was forced to breastfeed my baby

Lauriane: “A midwife accused me of poisoning my baby”

I never had the urge or desire to breastfeed my baby. From an early age, my breasts always hurt a lot during my periods, so it was completely out of the question for me to “use” them to feed my baby. However, I’m still willing to try the welcome feed. It was explained to me that colostrum is beneficial to the baby’s health, that it strengthens its immune defenses. My midwife made it clear that there is no obligation, and it’s better not to if you don’t want to, than to do it by forcing yourself! He is very understanding.

I gave birth to my first born without any problems, I didn’t suffer much, I still have good memories of this birth. I dealt with the pressure of breastfeeding very quickly: a few days after Charlie arrived, one night, I was in the bedroom and my little one was sleeping while taking his bottle. He sucked, very slowly. Charlie is a beautiful baby but he’s not really gaining weight. A childcare worker, whom I had met before in the hallways, entered my room. I thought he could help me, so I took advantage of his presence to ask him what I could do to feed my baby better. Then he turned to me and answered in a very aggressive tone: “You have to undress him, apply cold to his legs and, in any case, you are poisoning your child, it is better to breastfeed them babies! “. How did he answer me like that? I was left shocked by his verbal assault and, at the same time, I felt worthless! This woman just accused me of poisoning my less than 3 day old baby like I wanted to destroy it, like I was an unworthy and malicious mother. How could he accuse me of such a thing? I couldn’t say anything back to her, I was stunned and very tired, I couldn’t sleep at night… and what’s more, I found an experienced nursery nurse who was grumpy and annoyed, the total!

My husband is a great comfort to my best friend, who gave birth 6 months before me in the same maternity ward. She chose to breastfeed her baby. Her son also had trouble gaining weight. This is how I found out that the same nursery nurse attacked her, retorting that if she couldn’t give her baby the breast right, she just had to give him the bottle! My “aggressor” was a repeat offender, so I was clearly not his first victim.

The pressure for women to breastfeed is also evident in the media. During my pregnancy, I noticed that TV shows more often featured articles on breastfeeding, easy breastfeeding equipment, pumping, etc., and information and other tutorials on baby bottles were less common. . I fully respect the choice of all mothers, whether they decide to breastfeed or not. I fully understand and agree with the media’s desire to highlight breastfeeding to move the lines with public opinion so that mothers can finally breastfeed in peace as they want and where they want. However, when you’re not breastfeeding, you shouldn’t be ashamed to say so. We should not be ashamed to talk about it. When we don’t breastfeed, we feel like a pressure that prevents us from having the right to brag about breastfeeding! There is also the famous “Ah!” like a chopper when you answer “I don’t want” to the question “but why didn’t you breastfeed, did you?”. This “Ah!” I have heard this many times… Society is very guilty of not breastfeeding and, at the same time, there is a certain hypocrisy: how easily a mother can express milk when she continues her milk. work? How does he store it so easily?… In fact, he has to adapt and do his best. Bottle feeding also allows dad to play his role and my partner is an amazing dad! He is always available at all times. He got up that same night after his paternity leave to give the bottle. He took over so that I could sleep through the night which would not have been possible if I had breastfed.

Souad: “My in-laws don’t want me to let my baby drink”

“Even before I was pregnant, I decided to breastfeed my baby. I had the idea to give the best to my child and have a perfect connection with him. Breastfeeding represents I a way to be close to him and for him to be as close as possible I. But two weeks before giving birth, I lost my father. With him gone, I felt like I was suddenly blocked: I wasn’t ready to breastfeed. I no longer have this desire close to my heart, I never saw myself breastfeeding my child, especially in front of other people, outside… I am very affected by the death of my father. especially lost that’s my son mother a year before that. Following this incident, I had a miscarriage.

My husband has always supported me in my choices, I told him without hesitation that I would not breastfeed our child. He understood my decision very well. On the other hand, it wasn’t the same thing when I started talking about it with those around me. I immediately received unpleasant statements made by innuendo and a clearer and more direct reflection: “But why don’t you want to breastfeed? I don’t understand!” but also ” Powdered milk is not good for babies. You don’t know that he can get sick later, it’s better to breastfeed, better!” or even ” Why don’t you breastfeed? You don’t have milk?…

My birth didn’t go as planned, I had an emergency cesarean, my cervix didn’t open quickly enough. My baby was put on oxygen at birth but luckily his condition improved quickly. My in-laws visited me in the maternity ward to see the baby but had strong intentions of talking to me. My husband told them about my decision not to breastfeed my baby then and he didn’t understand my decision. He wasted no time in discussing the subject and I soon realized that my husband’s family had in fact covered their faces: they persisted in the idea that I was not breastfeeding because I did not have enough milk and it was not in my control.

Visit after visit, her family insisted that I breastfeed and always gave me recommendations! “You should eat more of this food and less of this one, did you know that some herbal teas boost milk production? We can bring you some if needed”. I decided not to breastfeed and I tried to show that I wasn’t going to do it, nothing helped! My in-laws don’t want me to let my baby drink. Subsequently, giving the bottle in front of my in-laws was an adventure that made me feel uncomfortable, the fear of blame and judgment from my husband’s parents did not leave me. .”

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