A young mother is very tired. Because of her pregnancy, her mother-in-law made her life impossible about her baby’s name. As she turns her husband against her, she wonders if she should give in and change her son’s nickname to make peace. After reading her testimony on the Mumsnet forum, we can understand her feelings… But Internet users advise her not to reconsider her positions.
Her mother-in-law doesn’t like the first name…
As soon as this couple found out their future child was a boy, a first name was imposed on them. It started with “weak” indicates that he doesn’t like the name, like asking if they thought of anything else. If the mother does not reveal the first name, she specifies: “She’s not a fan of the writing, or the pronunciation. It’s a Welsh name, because my husband is Welsh, but she’s not Welsh and since she divorced my Welsh husband father many years ago hasn’t he wants anything to do with him”. And about the grandmother’s statements, he added: “I was avoiding the question and ignoring her because I don’t have the energy to argue with her. She can have strong opinions and be very stubborn.”
At the time he wrote these lines, on November 15, his baby was born within a week, but his arrival in the world did not help matters, far from it. “My mother-in-law took every opportunity to comment on her first name. Even after a traumatic birth where I ended up in the operating room with heavy bleeding, her first message to my husband was to find out what the baby’s name would be. baby. be. baby. He spoke to the family behind us saying how disappointed he was, and took my husband aside to ask if we could change the name. [Elle] deliberately avoids saying his name, and decides to call him Junior”.
…or the baby’s middle name
For a first name to be the subject of controversy was hard enough for this mother to live with, her mother-in-law also had to dislike the baby’s middle name and say it loud and clear! Together with his wife, they decided to give him the middle name, which is the third from the father and a family tradition. It’s also this mom’s father’s middle name, so they feel confident in their choice that honors both sides of the family.
Also, the whole family was very happy. Apart from the beauty itself: “She cried crocodile tears and directly asked my husband to change it to something that honored his side of the family. However, there were only two male names to choose from considering this. , and both were terrible, really I don’t like them and they don’t even include the baby’s name”explained the mother. “My point is, it’s not her baby so it’s none of her business. […] He had the opportunity to pay tribute to his family 30 years ago and that’s why [qu’elle a choisi le deuxième prénom de mon mari]. But the baby’s name should not be an acknowledgment of his family, it is an acknowledgment of my wife’s family and mine.”
Should the baby’s name be changed?
“Yeah, we could just keep the peace and add whatever third name she wants, but I don’t want that. Being his mother, I should have the last word and I don’t want him to have two middle names. . names, and definitely that I don’t want to change his name under the pressure and influence of my mother-in-law. My husband agreed with me throughout the pregnancy on the first name, but now my mother-in-law is getting in his head and playing the guilt card, so my husband is surprised because he doesn’t want it [la] bad mood I know that’s not what she wants either, but my stepmom is good at manipulation to get what she wants. He puts words in my husband’s mouth and convinces him that they are his. So now my husband and I are arguing about it. What do you think ? Am I abusing it by sticking to my guns and keeping my son’s name as it is, or should I give in to my mother-in-law and change the name just to please her?”asked this mom on the forum.
For Internet users, the answer to this woman’s questions is clear: “Your baby’s names are your and your husband’s choices, no one else’s”, “You are absolutely not abusing. Your child, your choice. If you fold, how far will it go?”, “Who does he think he is?”, can we read it in the comments? Another person commented on the fact that the mother-in-law did not like the name because it reminded her of her ex-husband: “She’s bitter and resentful. Your husband needs to tell her to shut up. Otherwise it’s just the beginning, anything about your mother-in-law’s ex is a source of contention, preventing her from concentrating. about the good grandson. he has. “Stand your ground. If you turn your back on it, your mother-in-law will know she can interfere with every parenting decision you make for the rest of your life. You and your spouse should be a team. You have to present a united front. You did nothing wrong. If it is difficult for your husband, he should cut off contact with his mother while he adjusts and go to therapy. […] He needs to understand that you are the parents and you make your own decisions. The alternative is that it plays a limited (if any) role in your life.”advising someone.
And you, what would you do in this mother’s place?
- Deceased loved one’s choice of first name (or not) for their child: what impact?
- Why do we often wait until birth to reveal the first name?